Three ways to USE Tinder to know yourself.

It hasn’t been long since I started using Tinder. I started using the app to meet the ONE. In a city like Los Angeles, I somehow figured out fast that the ONE is within the radius of 20 miles from my location. The cycle of meeting the ONE was absurd, but eventually, it was all worth it.

There were two players in each episode, and both were so-so equally responsible for all the romance, happiness, heartbreaks and complications. While playing my role in the series, in every stage of it, I met myself and discovered the real me.

Here are three ways how you can also use Tinder to know yourself:

1. Date different kind of guys

One might never thought of having access to millions of men through a cell phone. Now that we can, we should take advantage of it. I always knew some characteristics of the “One”, and I swiped LEFT & RIGHT on the app centered around it. Surprisingly, it didn’t take me long to revise the characteristics of the “One”. I preferred one’s who liked art, though initially the requisite for interest in art never crossed my mind. Then, I started dating “Artsy” men assuming it plays a significant role, but quickly did I realize that the lifestyle of Artsy men and mine didn’t blend. Interest in the art  would be great, but it was not a necessity to be the ONE. This understanding led me to meet another type of men, and each gave me a new perspective about the One. Had I limited myself to men that met the first draft of the One’s characteristics, I would never know about all the other aspects that played  a crucial role.  This exploration is ongoing till we meet the One. Let’s grab our phones, keep an open mind and meet different people. At the very least it will open perception of the One that we undreamed-of.

2. Pick an activity for a date

Tinder means lots of dating, and dates usually revolve around bars, restaurants, cinema, clubs or at someone’s place. You eat, drink and talk for hours. This is great in the beginning, but it does catch up to you after a while. I had multiple first and second dates. The excitement of introducing myself in similar venues eventually lost its charm. One time, out of the blue moon, I suggested indoor golfing and coffee to my date, instead of dinner and drinks and golly did it work. I learned a lot about him. He seemed confident, a team player and motivated to improve his golfing skills. However, during the whole time, he never helped me improve my skills. I firmly believe in a relationship both should motivate and help each other grow, and I wish he had helped me. It was a deal breaker; I didn’t need to spend two to three weeks with him to predict the outcome. Dating and activities always make a good cocktail. Fortunately, cities we live in have a lot to offer. These activities help to learn more about each other, and one can quickly tell if two people are compatible or not. Never hesitate to mix them up in the beginning. In the end, our goal is to know if we want him to be the One sooner rather than later, Right!?

3. Go beyond your comfort

We all want to bring the best of ourselves to the One we swiped right. It is easy to feel and be the best of your vision when we are comfortable, and the cushion of comfort is always tempting. Everybody has their idea of their best version. In mine, I am a smart woman, comfortable knowing the subjects people talk about and being able to participate. So, I stayed in the bubble, until a day came when one of the dates suggested we watch semi-finals of NFL’17. I like sports, but football was new to me.  Anyhow, I accepted the proposal because I liked the guy.  Days before the date, I was nervous. I was worried I might ask stupid questions. Many doubts crossed my mind, but I stood by my decision and surprisingly, the date went well. He helped explain the game rules and tricks, and I learned a lot about football that day. Unfortunately, he and I did not work out, but football got a new fan that day.  Exploring does take time, but it can be fun, especially when there is someone ready to accompany you.  It all depends on whether we are ready to explore and open to new found interests. Feeling comfortable is good, but if there is something better waiting for us, why not keep the door open to experiencing those things.

 

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